thought now I need a cup of coffee..

First posting on December. agh! very bad start. Feels like shit, I'm dying on my bed a whole day. WTF.

Life sounds cruel. How could it be not. my delayed thesis just starting to drive me nuts. Its now two months left before the due date. I need more material if it not yet ended before the date.

The damage seems very welcome to visit my life this last few days. and my body cant controlled it well. I am begin to dropped. and can not be steady AT ALL.

Right now, cannot mention what kind of situation comes in my head. I've lost any kind of the real circumstances. I know I am crying, instead do that, I'd rather laugh close to a very stupid crazy men.

Hoaaa...!!! Life!!! now let me know how could you convince me that God has the reason for all this.

People said : come on, where do you left the passion??
I said : maybe under my bed, or I dropped it on the way, or just fading away, I don't know. However, I really really not in a mood for a speech.
People said : no, this is not you.
I said : people sometimes change, and maybe it is me, changing.
People said : heiii!!! comes up ur mind Ndrie!!
I said : (groan) life really sounds cruel, so many thing damage my mind and it starting to hurt me. let me step back just once at this time, to walking forward in every two steps. let it just be LIKE THIS.

and people left me.

Ya, I always get succeed to make people believe that I don't need anyone to rely on but me.

*thought now I need a cup of coffee*
*I've learned that instead you said that you can lean on to yourself,
you'd better cries out*

..